[The following blog stems from a conversation with a friend in which I conveyed this thought: "It's a strange struggle to move emotions from the surface and bury them. I've gotten good at it. I think that struggle is part of what fuels the creative drive." These are the notes I produced elaborating on that thought.]
I'm starting to think that I can overcome most things in two or three days. That doesn't mean that I'm not haunted by them after that. Some things you just can't shake from your soul. They stay with you forever. But this affords a choice. Do you let it crumble you, or do you use that weight to strengthen your soul? Either way there is a pain involved. And now that I think about it there are many pains involved. The pain from the initial scenario that requires one to bury feelings and emotions. The act of swallowing those emotions that are, at times, too big to contain within one's self causes pain. Once they are compressed there is a pain in keeping them in their place. It often requires an amount of self control that few possess. At times all of that pain and struggle are for the greater good. Many people define a hero as one who lays down their life so that another may live. I would add that sometimes a person should do more than lay down their life, they should lay down their soul so that others may heal their own.
But how does enduring this pain and struggle benefit that one who swallows their feelings? That one gains a fuel to push through life. If you have endured so much don't think, "It's so bad! I just can't endure anymore heartaches!" Use that past to say, "I have suffered much and still I stand! No bullet or blade can cut me down!"
The artist gains a doorway to inspiration for her art.
The lover gains a new level of understanding.
The diplomat learns to wield new tools to face the problems he seeks to solve.
The pain and the struggle becomes the Fuel of Life.